Monday, January 19, 2009

A minute with the Doctor -

So just logged into MSN messenger and my roomate Adam quickly writes me to see whats going on. This is the better part of the conversation.

Freund says:
what you doin for dinner?

DavidK - beastwick.blogspot.com says:
not usre

DavidK - beastwick.blogspot.com says:
what are u sayin

Freund says:
you should get some mcdicks

Freund says:
we found those couplons

Freund says:
and I am pretty much unable to leave this apartment

Freund says:
those hotdogs i ate yesterday defitniely had something wrong with them

Freund says:
i've been paintin the porcelein pony all day

Freund says:
lily style

DavidK - beastwick.blogspot.com says:
haha no WAY

DavidK - beastwick.blogspot.com says:
fuck

DavidK - beastwick.blogspot.com says:
that sucks man

Freund says:
oh ya, i hit the part that the back of the seat rests on, like the upper part of the bowl

Freund says:
i don't know how it happened

Freund says:
it all happened so fast

Freund says:
but i thought i should let you know, it's possible to do with the seat down

DavidK - beastwick.blogspot.com says:
haha oh man thats wild!

DavidK - beastwick.blogspot.com says:
fuck thats sweet

DavidK - beastwick.blogspot.com says:
might have to put that on my blog

Freund says:
i shoulda took picutres

DavidK - beastwick.blogspot.com says:
haha yes u should have!

Freund says:
regretfully i did not and I've already cleaned the toilet 2wice today

Freund says:
it looked like somebody but a firecracker in my buthole while I was taking a dump

Freund says:
totally wild stuff

Soooooooo in case you are wondering what Lily style is I will break it down for you:

Here at Trustus we had this asian lady working here by the name Lily. She doesnt work here anymore nor have we heard from her since her last day here. Which we celebrated with Pizza and new coffee mugs.

One day Steve and I were playin foozball when Karl comes out of the bathroom yelling what the fuck is that. So of course we go up there and take a look. Somehow a small chunk of poo poo was sitting on the rim of the bowl and on the back of the bowl. Nasty, I know. But the big question was how the heck did the poop get there. With the seat down it is damn near physically impossible for your butthole to shoot er out and hit that area IF you are sitting on the seat. So of course Karl asks Steve and I if we did it and of course we didn't so we say no. Yvonne obviously wasnt the culprit so the only suspect left is innocent ol' Lily. We ask Lily and she says no. Lily ends up cleaning it up after we all refuse to do it. Pretty much for the remainder of the day Lily keeps harassing me about who I thought did it yadda yadda yadda. pretty much by the end of the day Lily is convinced that a ghost must have done it and that was the end of it....If you can't pin the blame on someone just pin it on a ghost, seems reasonable.

So....as the day goes by Steve somehow recalled that one day he went into the bathroom to take a leak and saw little tread marks on the bowl from a pair of shoes. The only obvious explanation of this is that someone was squatting on the bowl and doing a high dive poop. Seems like a weird way to take a poop but hell I have friends that stand when they wipe.....weird human behavior I know...

After hearing about Steves observation about the high dive / shoes on the bowl squatting scenario it all seemed to come together.

Lily pooped on the toilet bowl and blamed it on a ghost.....or was it a ghost?

So, back to Adam speaking about doing it LILY style now you all know what Im talking bout. Although we never scientifically proved it was Lily, it could have been a ghost...

Hope you enjoyed this great memory of mine. I sure enjoyed typing and reliving that day !!

Cheers

DB

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